A Soldier's Sister

The Dream

I don't dream much, or at least, I don't remember them. I'm not a vivid dreamer at all. Sometimes I remember them for a few minutes, and then it's all lost again.

Here's some background that will help you. My brother, my only sibling, was killed in Iraq in 3 months ago. He was two years younger than me. This is the only dream I've had about him since he died. He is the first close person to me that has ever died. I'm not religious or spiritual and I have no idea about what happens after we die. I tend to lean towards reincarnation. I don't know if I believe that dreams of dead people are them communicating to us or just our minds creating something. Ok, here is the dream.

My mom, dad and I are walking into an insane asylum, down a long hallway that has glass to the right, like at a hospital newborn room. I look to the right, and through the glass "viewing room" I see a circle of men, soldiers, in hospital gowns sitting cross-legged on the floor. It seems like therapy or circle time. My brother is there and he sees me and I wave to him all excited and surprised to see him (because in the dream we already knew he was dead). I start waving and jumping up and down because I'm so happy to see him again. But he gets a sad (like little kid sad- pouty lips) face and starts to cry and tells me (through the glass) that he shouldn't be in there, it's all wrong, it's a mistake, why did we put him there, why did we leave him there? He's really upset and mad at us. My heart is broken, because I was just glad to see him again and I thought he'd be happy to see us again. Then I wake up.

What do you think? I'm kind of upset that the only dream I've had of him was a bad one.

The Interpretation
After a short follow-up with B, I dove right in. Here's my interpretation:
In the beginning of your dream, you are walking with your mother and father through a hallway. To your right, you see windows that remind you of the windows in a hospital nursery. This is the beginning of your life, when it was just you your parents were together. Your mood is bright and curious, similar to the mood of a child. As the dream progresses, you realize that you're not in a hospital but an asylum. This realization comes almost at the same moment that you see your brother. These are your teenage years, a reference to his mental health during those times. You are so happy to see him because you thought you had lost him, and you are reminded of the good times you had together. But you're separated by glass. This represents your alienation from him while he was deployed, since you're looking through the reinforced glass at him, and he's with other soldiers in the same condition he's in.

To me this is also showing that he's in a comfortable place, surrounded by men that he can identify with, in a healing place. (I do believe that dreaming of someone who has passed on is a visit from that person.) The sadness that he displays when he sees you is a reflection of the situation, of his separation from you, and his realization that he will never see you again. Also, the guilt that you feel when you see his reaction makes me feel as though you feel somewhat responsible for him being where he is, and you are blocking yourself from forgiveness and mourning.

This dream is a journey through your life with your brother. It's a reminder to embrace the love that you shared, and experience the pain and sadness and then let it go. Your brother is in a healing place now, and though you feel somewhat responsible, he wants you to be at peace and to remember how much he cared for you and the special moments you shared together, so that you can heal, too.

B's Reaction
THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart. I couldn't get this dream out of my head because it seemed so horrible to me. I was upset that the only one I've had was sad or upsetting. Now I can look at it in a positive way and (I think) heal from it. It really helps to hear that maybe the sad or upsetting reaction that my brother was showing wasn't necessarily what he would be saying, but more that it's what I'M feeling. I never could have thought of it like that on my own. So, thank you.

Thank you so much for sharing your dream, B. I am so grateful to your brother and all of the men in the armed forces and their families who make sacrifices like this for us every single day. Peace, healing, and blessings to you.

If you have a dream you'd like me to decipher, I'd love to hear from you! Email me: misspyxi@gmail.com